The sleepover ... as it appeared in the Herald Sun

Teens must face up to pillow talk
THE other night at tennis, as we watched the kids hit the ball from end to end, we thrashed out some big questions.
Just how much should government schools levy for voluntary fees?

And was the new healthy school lunch sending the wrong message by selling

bottled water when the kids should be drinking tap water?

Then Tom's mum changed tack. She had taken a phone call from her sister, who was both perplexed and amused.

The previous weekend Tom's cousin, 19, had emerged from his room. It was late because, as any mum of a teenager will tell you, they do love to sleep in.

He made breakfast, went back into his room and then re-emerged.

His mum was about to put some clothes away in his room.

He intercepted her, insisting he would put them away. That was when she knew

something was up.

Then he 'fessed up. There was a girl in his bedroom and she was too embarrassed to leave while his parents were there.

Could they just nick out for a little while so she could escape? They complied and she beat a hasty retreat. They weren't sure what to make of the episode and last I heard they were nutting outa policy.

All of us, with children hurtling towards puberty, laughed nervously.

What would we do once the sleepovers turned from same-sex Hannah Montana dance fests and Harry Potter movie marathons to feature the opposite sex? There were so many moral and practical issues.

One of us said there was no way she would allow it. Another hoped her children would be in share houses by then and what she didn't know wouldn't hurt her.

Another theory was that if they were in an established relationship then the partner was welcome. No one-night stands allowed.

Yet another mate took the view that she was happy for somebody, anybody, to be enjoying sex under her roof.

That night there were only mums doing the tennis run, but it would have been interesting to hear the views of fathers.

Would anyone have been good enough for their girls? And if it was a son, would they be pleased he was sowing his wild oats?

So when I ran into a bloke I know, I asked him what the policy was at his house.

"They are going to get up to hanky-panky so I would prefer they did it at home rather than in some park," he suggested.

With four successful children in their late 20s and early 30s, another friend related the story of walking to the tram stop one morning with her 19-year-old's boyfriend.

"A few years earlier, if anyone had told me I'd be walking to the tram stop with my daughter's boyfriend, after he had stayed the night, I would not have believed them," she said.

"But I figured she had got through high school and was settled into uni so it wasn't the worst thing that could happen to her."

It's probably preferable that they are tucked up in bed rather than having their heads kicked in at a fast-food outlet or out of their treeon drugs.

I've decided when and if my kids ask for grown-up sleepovers, I'll tell them to ask their father.